Help - my toddler spends our music class wanting to be picked up or hiding behind me!

It's always delightful to see toddlers enjoying a music class with no inhibitions. They rock in time, smile and interact with the teacher and parent and have the best time. 

This is not the case for all toddlers though. Sometimes toddlers can be very clingy, sticking to the parent and not wanting to interact with the teacher and other children in the group.

If this is your experience of music class or group activities then this article is for you. 

Firstly, you are not alone. It is very normal. However if you don't have a strategy for breaking the cycle of picking them up and clinging to you it will be hard to avoid carrying them around all the time, which just increases their dependency. 

Don't give up and quit music class before giving some of these tips a try. Afterall, one of the reasons you are probably attending the music class in the first place is to develop and foster social development and group socialisation.

Think ahead and talk about your next music class and what is going to happen:

• Don't under estimate how much your toddler can understand you - they can comprehend a lot but keep your message and instructions simple.

• Discuss your music class and how much you enjoy it when she participates and has fun with you in the class.

• Discuss that your music class together is a fun activity for you both and how great it is that you get to stay and play as well.

• Discuss the dancing activities and how hard it is to dance when you have to pick her up and that maybe this week you could try the dancing activities holding hands instead.

• Try some of the dancing songs that require her to dance by herself at home and praise her if she dances next to you rather than holding on to you.

• Discuss some kind of reward for after class if you can get through the class together without her clinging or crying. eg watch fav TV show after class, get to read a book together, go for a baby chino?

In the class:

Just before class starts remind her that you are staying and ask her if you can dance and have fun together. Remind her of the reward you discussed.

Have a strategy for when she clings to you in class and stick to it:

• Crouch down so you’re on her level.
• If your child is clinging to you, gently put some space between you and her.
• Continue with the activity/song and smile

If this fails and she crys:

• Look her in the eye, and calmly ask her to stop crying because you would really like to do the class with her.
• If she continues to cry, leave the circle/activity or room calmly so you can deal with the situation calmly. (IMPORTANT: carry out of the room to gently put her down to talk with her once outside)
• Explain that you had to leave the group and activity because she’s crying but you would like to continue the class with her. This is the hard part and it’s difficult to resist when your child cries to be cuddled. Firmly but gently emphasize that you’re still there if she needs you, even though you’re not picking her up.
• Once your child has calmed down, give her plenty of praise and a hug, but don’t pick her up and hold her hand and re-enter the class together.
• If you do successfully re-enter the class and manage to get her to continue without wanting to be picked up - PRAISE ALL THE WAY

Good luck and I hope these tips help you prepare for another fun term of music classes.

10 Tips on how to get the most out of your weekly baby music class

Babies can be unpredictable but there are somethings that you can do to help the music class run smoothly and to maximise your enjoyment of your weekly music class together.

• Try to attend class just after a feed and sleep as this promotes a routine of Sleep, Feed, Play to encourage a happy and willing participant in the class.
• Praise, clap, laugh, smile when your baby does anything that looks like the activity you are attempting. It's called Positive Parenting and it's never to soon to start. 
• Forget all the other parents are there and sing too - your baby LOVES YOUR VOICE. (even if you think you can't sing)
• Listen to the teacher's tips and advice on what you are trying to achieve out of the activity.
• Try and be on time so that the baby has time to socialise and settle before the class.
• Try and leave toys and distractions in the pram or out side (they will only distract your baby and the other babies)
• If your baby is not engaging or just having one of those days- it is a good idea to take them outside for a little circuit breaker and rejoin the class when things are settled. Talk to them and let them know this is your special time together and that you really want to go back and play. They CAN understand you.
• Try and participate as much as possible in the class yourself- it will help your baby engage too.
• Bring snacks for after class or give yourself time to feed your baby after class before rushing off- with all the learning and listening baby will get very hungry
• Be attentive to other babies and what they are up too..it's OK to help other parents out with this especially if it looks like a baby may be grabbing hair/eyes or faces. This is normal baby behaviour but it pays to be alert and circumvent an incident. NO one likes tears in a music class. 

                                  

                                              

Establishing a good sleep routine - can music play a part?

Getting good, consistent sleep is an important part of baby, toddler and child development.  If your child doesn't get enough sleep consistently you are likely to notice behaviour changes which can obviously affect things like eating and social interaction.  

You may not notice the impact it has on their learning and development in this overt way however science shows that lack of sleep will have a detrimental impact on brain development. 

OK - so we know how important sleep is. How do we ensure they get enough. 

The raising children network has already written terrific articles on sleep and how to establish and promote good sleep routines.

See their 12 tips for good sleep habits here:

http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/good_sleep_habits_tips.html

Here's some facts to start with:

Recommended amounts (from Raising Children Network)

Newborn Babies 16-18 hours

Babies 2 - 12 months 9-12 hours

Toddlers 10-12 hours (night) and 1-2 hours (day)

Preschoolers 11-13 hours

School age 10-11 hours

Tip number 3. on their list is: 

Relax before bed 

Encourage your child to relax before bedtime. A regular bedtime routine of bath, story and bed help younger children feel ready for sleep. Older children and grown-ups might like to wind down by reading a book, listening to gentle music or practising breathing for relaxation. This helps the body get ready to catch a ‘wave’ of sleepiness when it comes.

The use of music is listed here as a way to relax/wind down so here's some of our recommendations based on what works really well in our classes.

Art of Rhythmic Rocking

In our baby classes we love to teach the art of rhythmic rocking. The health nurses recommend a newborn baby routine of sleep, feed and play.  At the conclusion of your play session or when you notice those tired cues it is the perfect time to put on your favourite (calm) song and try some rhythmic rocking.

• Stand up and hold your baby in a comfy position.
• Put on your favourite rocking song
• Feel the beat and start rocking in time
• Try rocking forward and back or side to side
• Keep a consistent beat - don't stop or change rhythm (this is the key)
• Baby may grizzle - keep with the beat (stay strong)
• Sing/hum along as well (baby loves your voice)

Our favourites songs for this activity are:

You Are My Sunshine - Elizabeth Mitchell

Hey Soul Sister - Train

All the Pretty Little Horses - Charlotte Church

Time For Bed - Baby Love Music Fun 

Music For My First Milestones by Baby Love Music Fun

On our popular CD we've done the hardwork for you. The format is structured like a 30 minute music class/play with a built in wind-down at the end. It contains 10 tracks, 8 playful and active songs and the last 2 are lullabies. Parents often state that the kids are asleep by the end track - especially if used in the car (a captive audience)

You can now download this special album via Itunes here - 

https://itunes.apple.com/au/album/music-for-my-first-milestones/id872867757

Nigh' Nigh' Sleepy Head

Have you noticed that often the best parenting things come from other parents who need to create a solution to a problem they are having themselves.  Earlier this year we had a visit from Deb Herdman and Nigh Nigh Sleepy Head - we were very interested to hear her new sleep lullaby music. Deb was faced with her own son being a problem sleeper and created her beautiful product that parents can immediately use to create the 'sleep time' routine together. 

In the class a large mixed ages group went from marching and banging drums to sitting down listening to Deb's song and snuggling in with our teddies. The effect on the children and group was instant. Very Zen!

 What's terrific about this music is that it is instantly soothing, easy to sing along and it goes for 47 minutes, so no danger that the mood can change/shift with a different song coming on. 

Together you can dress up the gorgeous snuggly sleepy bear in his PJ's while you listen to music. You can even get matching PJ's for your little one - so that they can match the bear :)

We also have a night owl 5 year old who can be difficult to get to wind down and sleep. Miss 5 responded very well to Deb's music and loves her sleepy bear. I kid you not every time we use the music she yawns as soon as she hears it. 

The only thing I will say is that we don't use this every night but rather save it for special nights when I can see that she is a bit over excited or over tired and needs a bit of extra help. Our theory is that we wouldn't want her to not be able to sleep without this music (sleep-over, CD gets damaged (uh-oh)...it's pretty powerful stuff. Now that she is reading (Prep) we have noticed that she is much better at getting herself relaxed and ready for sleep and encourage her to read, during this time the music is also very relaxing for her. 

http://www.nighnigh.com.au/

http://www.nighnigh.com.au/toddler_sleep_strategy_products.html

Music & Stories

Toddlers love stories and until they can read themselves it can be difficult to get them to look at books in bed by themselves. 

Enter the musical story. There are heaps on the market at the moment and lots of them a lovely songs accompanies by beautiful books/pictures.

At home we've been collecting the Koala Books series of songs and CD's - which Big W and other stores stock but I've provided links below to online stores as well. 

Puff the Magic Dragon 

http://shop.scholastic.com.au/Search/puff%20the%20magic%20dragon

Over the Rainbow

http://shop.scholastic.com.au/Search/over%20the%20rainbow

When You Wish Upon a Star

http://shop.scholastic.com.au/Search/when%20you%20wish

Time For Bed - Baby Love Music Fun 

https://itunes.apple.com/au/album/music-for-my-first-milestones/id872867757

This song was written to go with the beautiful bedtime book, Time For Bed by Mem Fox. 

Kids love to find the moon on every page and listen for the animal sounds in the track. 

http://shop.scholastic.com.au/Search/time%20for%20bed

Do you have any great musical finds that you find help your little one relax, unwind and get ready for sleep?  

Please feel free to share them with our readers.

Here's a great article about the value of music classes for babies as experienced first-hand by this new mum.

Music, Movement with your baby
by rachelcook
(Article taken from Parenting Advice website - Minti)
http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/23/Music-Movement-with-your-baby/

Music and movement utilizes all sensory parts of the body and mind, and is especially good for developing minds. Music classes are a great way to bond with your baby through dance, song and music rhythms. Bringing music and movement into your home creates a fun, calming effect on your little ones and reinforces what you did that day in your music class.
Form my experience, going to a music class with my little man was such an eye opening experience. You are given a little pack with a music CD and book with other information material for use at home. In class you gather around on a mat on the floor, all concentrating just on the singing teacher. You are also encouraged to join in the singing. My little man was roughly only 3 months old when he started his first class.

The teacher mentioned how babies brains are stimulated by a soprano tone, and so began our wonderous journey into music with my little man, Codi. The teacher would sing in this beautiful soprano voice and immediately all our babies would turn their heads to the sound of her voice. We all mentioned half jokingly, if we could take her home with us!
During the class, we danced and we twirled, we sung to different beats and moved in different formations. I found when I was at home and I played the same music we sung and danced to, my son would be transfixed and mesmerized. It was amazing to experience this when Codi was just 3 months old, as I was quite skeptical to start with.

Bonding
I also found that music and singing helped in my communication and bonding with my son. If he became impatient in the car or in his high car, I would sing his favorites and he would immediately settle and concentrate on me, until I could find that pacifier/dummy or bowl of food. Now in his third term, he laughs at my 'Kookaburra' song, and jiggles like he's dancing when I put the CD on. You also get a book to read based on the term's music theme, in your music pack and it's the only book that I can get him to focus his attention on and sit still to listen to. It's still a 'favorite' today, (at 18 months).
From three months onwards, I also found that these classes gave me ideas for what I could do with him during the day. I'd sometimes hold him swaying with a song, dancing to calm him for nap time or excite him from a distance with... 'go into the kitchen and take a peek' song, as I made his breakfast. In class, he loves the 'kids gathering drum' and finds fun in shaking the casters or listening for that 'humming bird'. It definitely encouraged me to recognize and really experience what it's like to 'get something back' from him, even when he was very little, at 3 months!! I was definitely hooked.

Connection
In his first term I experienced a connection I never thought I would get so early. Indeed they do give something back other than a smile and a kick. In the case with my son, he picked up on the rhythm, laughed back and recognised songs when I played them back to him. It felt like I had a communication link to my son, and we had fun together. I found a higher level of interaction and recognition and a much calmer baby in difficult situations. Other than the music from the music class, he also loves classic jazz in the car (now Delta Goodrum), as travel music and 'fur lise' on the piano, (which I played when he was in utero), and he just fades away into relaxation.

My husband didn't believe me and I am sure he thought I was using my imagination. But each time he put 'talk back' radio on in the car, he experienced loud protests from the passenger in the back. He learnt pretty quickly to put that jazz on I had mentioned to him to put on as his drove with Codi and he told me he put it on really fast to silence the cries. Eventually, this extended to the tough hours between 4-6pm where I would find my husband (on his turn to mind bub on the weekend), putting the actual music CD on from our classes!! Now all we do is both sing these songs to him throughout the whole day, with the grandparents getting in on the act. A few months down the track, he also bangs some tunes (noise) on the piano, very dramatic. He finds the microphone a funny thing, loves shouting and singing into the mic. Whilst in the toilet too, as the sound echos...(the toilet on the plane was also an interesting vocal experience, got lots of smiles as I returned to my seat, hehe).

In conclusion
I really have had a lot of fun with my son learning the world of music together. More importantly how it stimulates their brains and teaches them beat and rythym which helps babies later when they grow up and start learning mathematics. For now, it's just the most useful and heart warming experience I have had in helping me enjoy motherhood and make it more pleasant experience for Codi and the whole family.

Learning Through Fun

"You are worried about seeing (your baby) spend his early years in doing nothing. ... Is it nothing to be happy? Nothing to skip, play and run around all day long? Never in his life will he be so busy again."

- Jean-Jacques Rousseau, "Emile"

People often say (whether they believe it or not) that children are lucky because they are always at leisure. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. "Children, especially infants and babies, are among the busiest creatures on earth. What are they busy doing? Learning," according to Winifred Conkling, author of "Smart-Wiring Your Baby's Brain: What You Can Do to Stimulate Your Child During the Critical First Three Years."

From birth to 12 months, a baby's brain grows to 60 or 70 percent of its adult weight, and he learns an astonishing array of skills: physical, mental, social and emotional. Though children have been acquiring these skills in various settings since time immemorial, more and more modern parents are taking advantage of professionals who, themselves, rely on the extensive information gathered through the study of child development.

taken from article in Home & Lifestyle of The Signal Newspaper - Friday August 17, 2007

http://www.the-signal.com/?module=displaystory&story_id=50150&format=html

The benefits of music to your new baby's development are enormous.

Using music with your baby can be defined in any of the following ways:

• first songs and rhymes


• making music


• musical games


• and simply having music all around them.

In the book "Brilliant Brain games for Kids to enjoy" published by Hamlyn there are several research statistics about the benefits of music to your babies development and I thought I would share some of them with you:


"Early childhood musical (or rhythm and rhyme) experiences, especially if they involve the parents are one of the most powerful ways to acclerate the 'wiring up' of a child's brain"

"Music stimulates all the senses, training your child's brain to organise and conduct numerous activities all at the same time."

"After participating in a programme involving music, movement and drama, disadvantaged children's self esteem scores were significantly higher."

Roadtest: Activity Books for Babies


I am constantly reading early childhood development books for ideas to use in my classes and thought that you may all be interested in my thoughts on three of the best that I have come across.

Games Babies Play: from birth to twelve months - Vicky Lanky (Book Peddlers)
http://www.bookpeddlers.com/
http://www.practicalparenting.com/


This book divides the games into a chronological order that has inspired the structure of the BabyLoveMusicFun program. The four sections are:birth to 3 months; 3-6 months; 6-9 months and 9-12 months.

I found the book perfect for the first 12 months with my baby and could easily flip to a section have a quick read and get straight into the activity. All the activities were easy to follow, quick to read and were really spot on in terms of the age advised to play the activity and how much they would enjoy it. All of the activities I tried in this book were winners.


Ideas that I use in my program from this book include: baby stretching, parent a acapella, bus baby aerobics, airplane baby, tick tock, play ball, zoo basket, balloon games, megaphone magic, making rain and clothespin drop.

365 Games Smart Babies PLay - Sheila Ellison & Susan Ferdinandi (Sourcebooks Inc)

http://www.sourcebooks.com/
(available at Borders bookstore)


This one is for babies from birth to 15 months and is divided into categories/themes such as bedtime, water/bath time, music, dramatic play etc. Within each category it starts with infant appropriate activties and progresses up through about 15 months.


There is 'wit and wisdom' from other parents who have tried the various activities...which helps make you feel that what you are doing is really worthwhile.

There are some really unique and quite special activities in this book.

For example - Baby's Poem for 12 months and up: which is basically creating a poem with your baby using the words that they are starting to say. You write a list of all their words and then you can go crazy and create songs, sentences and poems with their words. Here's one Roxy and I wrote just the other day:

Moon Mama Moon
Peek Boo Cuckoo
Moo Moo Moo

Brilliant Brain games for Kids to Enjoy (Hamlyn)
(available at Borders bookstore)

This one is for toddlers through to five years so there is great value in this $22.00. I'm using the activities in this one daily at the moment. We are concentrating on the 'fun at home' chapter and this has been great.

The activities are really easy to do...for example go on a rainbow treasure hunt with your baby around house. We had alot of fun going around with the laundry basket collecting blue things the other day - and now guess what, she knows the colour blue!

This book is for the parent who wants to make sure that the quality time they spend with their baby is educational and FUN. There are also research tips all through the book which are not only interesting but help you understand the value of the activities.

Here's one to leave you with:

" by exposing your child to a wide variety of music, you stimulate regions of the brain responsible for spatial, verbal, balance ,memory and other skills'

WOW - all that from the simple gift of music!